Mainframe > Historical Records > Diary of Rue Asellir, 3/4/1818

Document confiscated and translated from original Elvish during the trial of Rue Asellir.

I want my best friend back.

This isn't Clover. This is a sick parody of him. He's energetic and impulsive, but never like this. Never like this. He would never hurt anybody, not if he could help it. He doesn't give fast, half-nonsense speeches to put fire in a crowd; it's hard for him to pronounce Common, and he speaks it so slowly people think he's insulting them. And he's not stupid enough to be manipulated into doing something like this. Actually, he is, but he's got too much heart to do any of it.

I see him whenever we aren't working. We went walking in the prairie this morning, a mile or so from town. It was such a beautiful morning. The sky was a vivid, brilliant blue after the intense storms we'd had overnight, and you could smell spring. I let him talk and talk about the soil conditions in Felenir, how they were different from the ones back home, how he couldn't wait to see what plants were native to the area. He was so carried away that he only stopped when we came upon a fallen tree. A fox had been crushed underneath and severely wounded. I hadn't even noticed it.

My first instinct was to put it out of its misery, but before I could raise an objection, Clover already had Cure Wounds prepared. His Unseen Servant helped me lift up the log as he cast Friends and moved the poor thing. Then he healed it, murmuring comfort to it all the while. I just stood there and watched, and I couldn't help but think to myself, You showed less compassion to civilians in a burning city.

He's not meant for this life. He's no warrior. His eyes light up more than almost anything else when he sees a chicken. A chicken. Pass the language barrier and he's an excellent speaker with plenty of charisma, yes, but I don't know why or how so many people listened to him. I don't know why he's still doing it. The Clover I know isn't a megalomaniac cult leader, he's a normal, naive man who will talk about the best fertilizers for corn for 3 hours straight if you let him.

I don't even know much about the god he's doing this in the name of. My mother gave me her Mezyr compendium several years ago, and a Heselma is never listed there. I trust Clover, even after everything that's happened, but I've found no evidence of him anywhere and I'm starting to worry that he's not real.

I thought I was helping manage a growing operation. That's what I signed up for. I'll stand by his side as long as I can, but I don't know how much longer I can do this.